Wednesday, November 17, 2004
News of the day
Meanwhile, we may have to look for a new sponsor for our colony on Mars, with portraits of Kim Jong-Il having mysteriously disappeared all over Pyongyang. Usually, it's no good news in those kinds of countries of your portraits suddenly disappear. It usually happens right before or after YOU mysteriously disappear. I love the reaction from the North Korean diplomat, though: ""This is false information, lies. Can the sun be removed from the sky? It is not possible."
NASA succesfully tested a cool new airplane that broke speed records by flying at Mach 10. Unfortunately, this won't help our Mars expedition much since they use an air-breathing engine, and there isn't much air between here and Mars. So, we will place our bets on our intertial hyperspace decelerator which will grant us a negative speed of one kilometer per minus one second.
Of course, the physicists say there's no such thing as negative speed. But that only makes us meaner!
In Colorado, Secret Service are investigating a bunch of school kids who had the dangerous plan of playing Bob Dylan's 1963 song "Masters of War"! I suppose there aren't any REAL psychos left to investigate since they all turned out to vote for the president on Nov. 2 - but what are the Secret Service thinking? Intimidating school kids for playing BOB DYLAN songs?
If any of you is Secret Service, I want to report a song with DANGEROUS REVOLUTIONARY lyrics, celebrating the formation of ARMED UNITS to use POLITICAL VIOLENCE and even ARTILLERY against the LEGITIMATE GOVERNMENT:
Yankee doodle, keep it up
Yankee doodle dandy
Mind the music and the step
And with the girls be handy.
There was Captain Washington
Upon a slapping stallion
A-giving orders to his men
I guess there was a million.
And then the feathers on his hat
They looked so' tarnal fin-a
I wanted pockily to get
To give to my Jemima.
And then we saw a swamping gun
Large as a log of maple
Upon a deuced little cart
A load for father's cattle.
And every time they shoot it off
It takes a horn of powder
It makes a noise like father's gun
Only a nation louder.
I'd advise them to get the writer of these lyrics before some POLITICAL EXTREMISTS will get the idea! This Captain Washington guy sounds like an extremely dangerous fellow as well. I'd launch an immediate investigation into what he is up to.
UPDATE: For those of you who read Dutch, on an art photography course in the Netherland, nudy pictures have been censored and removed for fear of offending islamic participants. One answer I could have to this crap is that I am extremely offended by anyone censoring images of the naked female body or the naked male body. Not offended, disgusted.
If you feel the naked human body is vile, filthy or sinful - do not go to an art photography course! Go study accountancy or something.
UPDATE II: The photographs were removed not to offend islamic participants in other courses in the same building, not the art photography course - but they have been put back. Apparently, they had been removed pre-emptively: without actually asking whether anyone found them offensive - and it turns out that the only person happy with the censoring was the Bible trainer of the local evangelical youth centre. More here